Date set for hospital procedure.

My first procedure will be November 3rd at St. Marks.  I will be there most of the day.  Yay.  Can't wait to get it over.

My Surgical plan. Feelings of Peace

Yesterday I had felt was going to be such a scarey day for me.  I was meeting with two important doctors that would be in my life and Kim had to work.  I was going to have to meet with them alone.  I don't like alone in this situation.  I ended up having my sister and daughter come with me.

The night before these appointments, Kim gave me a blessing of comfort and blessed these new doctors to know what to do for me.  He asked for guardian angels to be with me also.  All of the above happened.  I have never felt so at peace.

The first doctor I visited, couldn't hardly believe my liver cancer.  He had never seen it like this before, (reruns from 2 1/2 years ago listening to doctors talk about my cancer). He said he had three plans.  After explaining them all, I asked him which one he thought would work best for me.  Here is the plan:

It is called radioembolization.  They will go through my groin with a catheter with an exact amount of radioactive beads that will go inside each liver lesion and zap them.  I responded SO PERFECTLY to radiation on those three tumors, that they want to hit these lesions inside the liver with radiation also.  It will take two trips to St. Marks Hospital in Salt Lake.  There is not that bad of side effects I don't think.  Nausea  and some bleeding after the procedure and feeling very tired and lethargic for several weeks.  (Oh yay.  Just in time for the holidays to not have energy.  Oh well, so be it). THATS IT! There was no horrible bomb dropped about scarey side effects.  My sister was with me and we both felt so positive and peaceful about the plan.  It seemed so obvious!  He said it would be a couple of weeks before we start.  It sounded quite intricate.  I am excited to get going.

A few hours later, I met for the first time with my new oncologist.  When he walked into the room, and knew everything about me starting at the on sought of my cancer, I was impressed.  The biggest plus was when I told him about the surgery that the first doctor thought would work for me.  He got a smile and said that he was on board 100%.  That was exactly his thoughts.  Hallelujah!  Both doctors agreed on what should be done.  I felt that peace again and I knew I was being blessed. I felt so happy  and comforted all day long.  It was an exceptional day.  Now I just hope for a good Endoscopy report tomorrow. Then I can relax for a couple of weeks.

A HUGE change in my cancer.

Well, I went to see Dr. Fisher today, my Radiation Oncologist. There was good news, but bad news also.

Good News:  My three tumors have shrunk to the size of raisins.  They are essentially "No More".! The radiation did a number on those babies!!  Yea! Such good news.

Bad News:  Those three tumors (raisins now) have always been outside my liver, which has always been soooooooo unusual.  I have been a puzzling case right from the get go because the cancer was NOT IN my liver.

Well, now it is........................................
And it is very fast growing.........................

Since my last CT scan, where it didn't show any lesions in my liver, it has only been 4-5 months.  Now it shows 3.  One is two inches and the other two are 1 1/2 inches each!!  That is FAST GROWING!  So the tumors are gone but fast growing lesions are in my liver.  Dr. Fisher wanted to call a few oncologists and get their opinions on what course to take with me. 

REMEMBER MY ONCOLOGIST THE FIRST TIME I FOUND OUT I HAD CANCER? (Go back and read the very first of my blog if you don't know about him)  Well get this!!!!!  He hasn't changed any!!! Dr. Fisher called him to get his opinion on what he would do with my currant situation.  This is what he said:

" I would give your patient strong pain medication and call Hospice for her".  SERIOUSLY?  I DON'T EVEN LOOK SICK YET!  HOSPICE?  I am sorry to say this but HE IS A JERK!!!

(Calming down my blood pressure).  Dr. Fisher didn't believe that and said that he felt there was some other things we can do. It is called Intervention Radiation.  A specialty radiation. To try to go inside me and cut off the blood supply to the three lesions in my liver.  I kept getting hugs from the doctor and nurse in his office, so I knew that what he was telling me was NOT what I wanted to hear.

Dr. Fisher said that he was not going to give me a timeline that I have left in my life.  I had already super ceded time lines before and would probably continue to do it again.

Well, for the next hour we discussed different doctors.  I am going to get a new oncologist, as bad as I don't want to.  She still hasn't come back to work, 9 months later from her stroke.  So he got me an appointment with the other oncologist that is in her office.  They have all of my files. 

Then I got an appointment for the surgeon who would zap the lesions in my liver, to have a consultation.  Then I have some thickening from the CT scan in my esophagus.  I have an appointment to have an EGD.  All of these are new doctors and I don't like NEW.  I guess I bite the bullet and buck up.

The day after this appointment, I think I was in despair.  I didn't get dressed.  I laid around all day and was in a dark hole.  I gave myself the day to contemplate my new diagnosis, and get over my sadness.  The next day, and since then I have been fine again.  I needed to mourn a day.  My appointments will take place within 2 days.  They are trying to get me taken care of ASAP.  Crappy Cancer.

I want my mommy!

With all of the pain I have been having in my right side by the tumors, I decided to call and find out when my next CT scan was planned for.  I was told it would be the first part of November.  I told her how I had been feeling and she said that we ought to do it ASAP.  Well, yesterday I had a CT scan.  Something unusual happened this time.  I have had so many CT's,  that it is 'old hat' now for me to go have it.  I always have the same lady do it and her and I have gotten to be friends.  I just love her.  Well, I went in on the bed you lie on and she put the IV in and said she would be back in a couple of minutes.  All of a sudden, I wanted my mom.  I wanted her there with me. I was just like a little child that wanted their mommy.  I didn't want to be alone.  And the tears just leaked out of my eyes down my cheeks and into my hair.  I don't know what came over me.  That hadn't happened before. When she came back in, she saw my tears and asked me if I was ok?  I told her yes.  She handed me a tissue and commented that she hadn't seen me react like that before.  I told her I hadn't.  Then I thought to myself, that because I had seen her so many times doing this, that she was my comfort.  She was my surrogate mother at my CT scan.  (There was no way that I was going to tell her that though). Anyway, my tears streamed down into my hair through the whole scan, and when she came back in, she said that I was going to make her cry.  When I talked to Kim about it, he thought that maybe my mom was there was why I felt like that.  I don't know if she was or not.  It would have been great if she was though.

I will know my results next week when I have my appointment.  Geeze, I hate cancer!