My life changed dramatically on Mother's Day 2013. Three days later I was diagnosed with cancer from my physician. This blog was made to keep my family and friends informed to what has been happening to me the past few weeks. When I find out news from different Doctor's through all of the procedures I have had, so many of you have wanted me to text, email, call, or someway contact you. It humbles me how many of you are concerned. Sometimes I forget to contact some of you. This way, you can stay in touch with what is happening now. Please feel free to comment. I hope I have it set up so you can. If not, I will ask Emily my daughter to help me, since she helped me get this set up.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I need to do a little "poor baby"

This last week or so has been a little difficult for me. I guess I have just been tired of all the stuff going on with me that just make me not feel well. My feet just really hurt on the bottoms. I am tired of limping most days.My hands and face are dry and chappy. My palms are sore.My tongue is also so sore and tender.  The constant diarrhea is getting me down, and as I pop my tons of medicine every morning and night, I want to throw it all down the drain and say "to heck with it".

My mouth always has sores that wake me up in the night with a pain that would feel like pain spreading fast like fireworks going off in my whole mouth during the night. Then in a few seconds it is over until it happens again before morning.

And my blasted hair is growing so slow, it makes me so so sad.  I just want it to be long enough to look good in a short cut.  But it doesn't. I hate to put this on paper, but I just feel so not pretty. (A nicer way to put it).

I look in the mirror on a no-hat or wig day, and I feel I look so unattractive. It makes me really feel sad. Cancer does a number on a person. Physically and mentally. I feel like I need a mental makeover.  However that would be.  ( I think I may have made that word up.)  I guess all this is tiring me and wearing me out with the same things, day after day. I keep thinking, I know it could be worse. I get that. I think of that all the time.  I want to feel pretty with my short curly hair that stands up straight on my head and makes me feel like a boy!  It is getting summer. I want to not have to wear hats and look nice.

Sorry I'm whining. I don't like to. It's just been tough recently with it all.

3 comments:

  1. Terry Lynn you always look so lovely when I see you anywhere ! You are a ray of sunshine and your example of courage and determination inspire me :)

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  2. It's ok to express those feelings....cancer must be horrible. I don't want to ever experience it. I feel bad with minor aches and pains much less what you are going through. I hope you get some relief and get out of this funk. I think of you so very often and admire your courage and perseverance. May God bring you brighter days ahead. Stay strong Terry Lynn!

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  3. I love you, and will be home soon. Can't wait to hug you.

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