Something is going on inside my body that is not good as of lately. I am uncomfortable a lot. Around where my tumors are, are quite uncomfortable when I move a certain way. I feel bloated a lot, and when I do, I waddle like I am pregnant . I can barely zip up my coat when I feel like this. It has felt like this most of the holidays. I get a reprieve a half a day occasionally, but mostly it isn't good. I hate to say this, but I feel my tumors are growing and they are crowded in there. I try to get a comfortable position either standing/ sitting/ laying and it is hard to find it. I get my CT scan on January 15th and I think it is the 20th when I see her and she tells me about it. I know something is different negatively. I just have to hang in there three more weeks to find out. It makes me sad.
Chin up. I can do hard things!
Happy New Year. Good bye 2014. It was a good year.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
Going 'wigless' to church for the first time.
AHHHH. I just finished my post and it somehow deleted!!! (Grumpy) Starting Over :(
OK, yesterday was a very emotional day for me. It is a day that I have dreaded for over a year. It is the day that I would go to church without a wig!!! Maybe those of you reading this might think that is silly. For me...NOT!!! It has been something deep inside me that I have struggled, with the thought of the ward seeing me with my extra curly hair that has no rhyme or reason....It is just there. (Did I say,CURLY?) I have struggled inside with my primary class seeing my real hair. They actually were really cute. Especially the girls. They are the 12 year olds who graduated from primary.
I started crying about doing this just before we got in the car, and I couldn't stop the flood gates no matter what Kim said to tell me I looked very nice. I got to Relief Society, and went to the back row, corner, so I could hide. I didn't hide long, as many of my friends came back to comment so kindly. Thank you to all of you who were so kind and helped me through my traumatic first time. I have gone to a few places already wigless, but for some reason this was a huge step for me. I guess I was getting ready to start the new year with the 'real' me. I like the 'wig' me so much better but my hair is getting long enough to not hide underneath as well.
Anyway, another milestone to cross, and I did it.
OK, yesterday was a very emotional day for me. It is a day that I have dreaded for over a year. It is the day that I would go to church without a wig!!! Maybe those of you reading this might think that is silly. For me...NOT!!! It has been something deep inside me that I have struggled, with the thought of the ward seeing me with my extra curly hair that has no rhyme or reason....It is just there. (Did I say,CURLY?) I have struggled inside with my primary class seeing my real hair. They actually were really cute. Especially the girls. They are the 12 year olds who graduated from primary.
I started crying about doing this just before we got in the car, and I couldn't stop the flood gates no matter what Kim said to tell me I looked very nice. I got to Relief Society, and went to the back row, corner, so I could hide. I didn't hide long, as many of my friends came back to comment so kindly. Thank you to all of you who were so kind and helped me through my traumatic first time. I have gone to a few places already wigless, but for some reason this was a huge step for me. I guess I was getting ready to start the new year with the 'real' me. I like the 'wig' me so much better but my hair is getting long enough to not hide underneath as well.
Anyway, another milestone to cross, and I did it.
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