Three days after Mother's day my family Doctor told Kim and I , that I had cancer. We just didn't know what kind. After that day, I had an ultrasound, CT scan, CT biopsy, endoscopy, colonoscopy and PETscan. My family doctor suggested me go see a cancer doctor close to his office. Kim and I went to see him on a Friday 3 weeks ago. I have never felt so discouraged as I did that day. This doctors bedside manner was horrible. He told me I had stage 4 pancreatic cancer, he thought. The tests pointed to it but he wasn't sure if the cancer was attached to the pancreas or not. He told me I had about a year, and that I would need chemotherapy, but that it might not buy me some time. I would just keep doing the rounds of chemo till my body wouldn't take it any more. And might I add, while he was giving me my death sentence, so unkindly, his nurse kept knocking on the door interrupting us. His mind was somewhere else, but definitely not on me. He set me up a date to start chemo the following Wednesday.
Kim and I left his office in shock. I was going to die in one year!!! No hope for my future. Nothing. And I was putting my life in this mans hand, and he didn't care a hoot for me!
Kim and I went to the car, and the both of us started sobbing, holding on to one another for an hour. Telling our love for each other for the past 38 years of marriage. I have never seen Kim weep like that day. It is something I will never forget.
Our kids were asked to come that evening. They knew it was my diagnosis from the doctor. We told them and called our son in Las Vegas.
The next day, I went from sadness to madness! How insensitive of that doctor to not give me any hope! How dare he! We had asked him about us getting a second opinion and he said they would just tell us the same thing but maybe in a kinder way. I didn't care what he said. I wanted a kinder doctor, and one that would have compassion for me, care about my care and future, and give me hope for a future. So with the help of a wonderful friend, she and I went for it.
On Monday, I called the Utah Cancer Institute, told them about this insensitive oncologist, and told them I wanted a second opinion with a caring doctor. They gave me a name, and said she would fit my expectations. They got me in to see her the very next day. She was the difference between the night, (doctor #1) and day (doctor #2). She gave me hope. And seemed to really care about what I had just gone through.
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