Results of my CT scan and my knees

By the time I got to my oncologist appointment late this afternoon, my blood pressure was way too high.  I can always tell when the nurse is taking it, from the look on her face if it is high or not.  I got the "oh, oh...it's high" look.  And it had been so good for several days. (Darn it).

Waiting in my oncologists patient room, was so hard.  Waiting for her to come in and essentially pronounce my new sentence. I had really felt calm about it all weekend but now I was sitting on the edge of my seat.

I have three larger tumors in my stomach, which I knew about from the last CT.  The largest one went from 4 centimeters to 5 centimeters.  Another one I think went from 3.5 centimeters to 4. The third one shrunk a little, and I can't remember its size.  My liver looked good, and didn't look unhealthy as you might expect.  Everything else looked really good.

She wasn't particularly concerned about the size of the  tumors getting larger.  She said they could be larger for other reasons such as swollen from being a bit inflamed for some reason. So the size might not be an accurate way of viewing my disease.  Mostly it depended on my blood work and how I felt in general.  And generally I feel good.  I felt very relieved to hear this as I had felt like things would be fine.

I however wasn't prepared for the next part. I have been having problems with my knees for several weeks.  Starting with my left knee, it hurt every day.  I finally asked my chiropractor about it when I went in to help me with my neck.  I told him about my knee and had him look at it.  He said my knee cap was out. He put it back in with this little pistol like thing that zaps my knee with a thud.  A few weeks later my right knee started hurting in exactly the same place.  So the chiropractor zapped both knees since the knee caps were both out.  I only seem to be able to go a couple of days before they go out again.  On a crazy hunch, I thought I would ask my oncologist about my knees, which I didn't think she could help me with. When I told her about them, she looked concerned and said my Nexavar can cause skeletal problems in joints, and that it could very much be the cause of my knee caps going out! In fact, she was pretty sure it was the Nexavar.  I couldn't believe it!  She then had me show her what the chiropractor does when he puts them back in, and I mimicked what he did.   She said to ask my chiropractor if he could teach me how to do it on my own at home, as I may be having this happen a lot.  She said the knees could get much worse in time and even affect other joints, so I am to really watch my knees these next three weeks until I see her again.

She did not have me go to four Nexavar yet because she wants to watch my blood pressure for about ten more days to keep it down, then I can call her and we will start on the regular dose of four finally, and hopefully no rash!

Whew! What a relief today to find out those things.  I sure love my doctor!

CT scan today

Thank you to my sister for taking me to my CTScan this morning.  The cocktails you have to drink were not that bad.  The results of them were the killer!  Not much sleep.

Whatever they find out, I feel at peace.  Can't wait to find out the results Tuesday at my appointment.

I was given a small silver angel to bless me with from a friend in Pennsylvania. I am supposed to keep her in my pocket or palm, or on a shelf.  She was with me in my pocket today.  Thank you Pat!

Cocktails and Dumb Hair

Well, today I got the "cocktails", (as they call them), that I have to drink before my CT scan on Friday.  I could pick Vanilla or berry.  Berry sounded good. It looks like chalk. It better not taste like it also.

Well, my darn hair is still falling out! Can you believe it?  It now has been coming out for three months!  I had a whole bunch of 3/4 inch hair on my pillow and in the sink.  (That's how long my hair is since I had my head shaved).  It made me grumpy. I have been so blasted mad at seeing hair coming out again that tonight I had Kim take the clippers to my head and shave me bald again.  Just that little bit looks so different again on me.  Dumb Hair!

I feel I need to be brave and put a picture on this blog, of me bald.  I don't want to but this is the story of what I am going through, and being bald is part of my life right now.  We'll see. I have had to do so many things the last few months that I never wanted to do, that, hey.... what is one more thing?

THANK YOU!

I need to tell all of you who read this blog, all of my family, neighbors, friends and loved ones and whomever else that reads this, a huge THANK YOU!  I have been treated like royalty by you all.  I have received many cards from you all. Wonderful gifts of encouragement,  prayers in my behalf, flowers, goodies, kind comments on this blog, and just love and concern from so many of you.  Just the thought that this blog is nearing 8,000 views tells me that I have so many people who care how I am doing.  (Why, I don't know).It boggles my mind and I feel very humbled. I even have a secret person who I hear from every two weeks, anonymously. She gives me encouragement and strength. Thank you all! I feel happy and very blessed through this trial.

Three pills a day now. Getting another CT scan.....finally.

I saw my oncologist yesterday.  Here are the results:

1- I am on 3 Nexivar (chemo) pills a day now.  Only one short now of my full dose.

2- My blood pressure is still too high.  I see my family doctor today about it again.

3- The most interesting news is that she wants to see how my cancer is progressing.  So she wants me to get another CT scan.  I have wondered about this for sometime.  With all of my set backs for weeks and weeks, that has been a concern of mine. She wants me to get the scan on the 25th of October and then we can talk about it the next time I see her on the 29th. She seems to think it isn't going to be too bad because she thinks I don't look like I am sick still. Wouldn't that be awesome if it isn't much different, or even better......if I have improved? I don't know if that could happen or not with my cancer, but I can hope.

I need to bring it DOWN!

This past 2 weeks have been some rough waters as I have had very high blood pressure, which is a reaction to my chemo, and it is doing a number on me.  Between my oncologist and family doctor, it just hasn't come down much, which in turn, may be the culprit of my severe headaches.  I have also been told it may be stress headaches, but what would I be stressed about?¥#*.
Whatever the reason, I have them night and day, and I seem to have no energy.  And to top it all off,  the gastrointestinal problems have been painful.  I am very much looking forward to my blood pressure being in normal range again so I can try to get to the about of chemo I need to be helped.  I am not there yet, and it sometimes gets frustrating. After listening to general conference, I loved the talks on trials in our lives, and I want to be like that tree that President Monson talked about that grew with the winds and rains, and what good wood it would someday make.  I loved that poem, and I should try to get a copy of that.

This is to a better week!  Onward and upward!

(I sure have the sweetest husband ever.  He is my best friend! )

My eyes were opened to the reality of taking chemo medication. Tears of Sadness and Joy

I went to see my doctor for my visit every two weeks with her.  Before I saw her, I needed to have my port, (Lucy)  be flushed and draw blood.  Flushing it should be done every 6-8 weeks since I don't have IV chemo.

As I was sitting there waiting my turn, I watched the nurse hooking up a lady to the catheter for what seemed to be her first time getting chemo.  Her husband was sitting close by as the nurse explained how her chemo had some benedryl mixed in with it, and pointed to another bag that would drain some anti-nausea medication in also.  I have never watched someone go through this and it was really tearing me up.  She finally was done being hooked up, and was told it would take about two hours.  I couldn't believe it!  I didn't know it took so long!  I then saw her husband reach over and hold her free hand and I silently watched and continued to tear up.  One- because she was scared I could tell, as I think it was her first time, and she didn't know what to think about the two hour time it was going to take. Two- it made me sad that it was going to make her nauseated and sick.  Three- it made me teary to see her sweet husband give her his love  and support by holding her hand.  And last of all, but certainly not least, I thanked my Heavenly Father that I can just pop a pill in my mouth....doing it twice a day, and I don't have to leave my home, and I don't have nausea.  I thanked my Father in Heaven for that blessing for me, and  I cried for her to be healed.