Infusion needs to kick in!!

 

The top picture is of Kim and I waiting to go into the infusion room. 

 

 

I went to Huntsman on Thursday. My oncologist talked to a radiology oncologist about me and showed him my images.  They both think that if I was radiated on a few of the tumors, it would help with my pain and kick start the infusion to start working.  So they made an appointment for me to see this new oncologist next week.

 

  We had a long talk about my future.  I learned that if this infusion doesn't work, that I most likely wont last through the summer.  That was sobering. 

 

We also talked a lot about me going on vacation to California next week.  He really wants me to go.  He said that it may be my last vacation and I need to go.  This is so nuts to me.  I see these terrifically sick looking people at Huntsman who look like they are in the last days of their lives, and then there is me.  I don't even look sick yet.  I almost feel guilty during my infusion because here I am plucking along looking normal while they look so ill.  And then I hear that I only have a few months left if the infusion doesn't work.  It just doesn't make sense to me.  But, you know........none of my cancer has made sense to me or any doctor who I go to. 

 

The only thing that has been different with me lately, is my pain.  I have several places that I hurt where I used to not.  He would show me on my body where new tumors were and sure enough, it was my new pain.  I pretty much have to take pain medication every day now and also something for nausea each day.  So I know because of that, things aren't going well inside.  It just isn't manifesting itself yet outwardly.

 

So that is my latest news.  I just keep praying that my infusion is going to work.  I am on a roller coaster ride like no other.