My Dreaded Week Is Over!! :))

 

This is what my leg looks like when it gets out of the vacume mold having radiation.  It sucks all the air out and the plastic digs into your skin just like a seal-a-meal.  This picture was ten minutes after they took the vacume off.  I wonder what it looked like right after. Disgusting huh!

This was so awesome.  While I was in the infusion room at Huntsman, these good looking young men all walked into the infusion room and sang 3 songs acapella to all of us hooked up to infusions.  They were from Skyline High school mens choir.  They were so good.  I loved their first song.  It was a Disney medley of so many Disney songs.   It made me a bit teary that they took time out to come to the hospital and sing to us.  We also got a bag of different things in the infusion room from people who donated and worked on these bags for cancer patients.  There was probably about 15 things in the bag.  People are so kind. 

 

 

Oh my.  I don't know where to start about this week.  To start out, I went to Huntsman Cancer Institute every day.  Since it takes an hour there and an hour home, it pretty much took up a day.  I was so tired of going there.  Each day, a different person took me and I thank again, everyone who did. 

 

I was supposed to have 3 days of radiation.  I ended up having 4.  On day 2, I threw up in the middle of it and had to come out of the vacume and you can't move even an 1/8 of an inch or you have to start over.  I threw up, therefore they canceled the rest of the procedure. 

 

The day of the CT scan, I threw up in the middle of that also.  They were able to salvage what they had done, and just continued the scan after my sickness.

 

The big finding of the week was my doctor telling me about my CT scan.  It was bad news yet good news.

a.  When the doctor came in, he looked somewhat not happy and told me that my cancer is still spreading.  That is not what I wanted to hear.

b.  On the other hand, he wanted to see what condition I was in when he walked into the room.  I did not look nor act sick, like last time when I had so much pain ( I looked sick that day).  I was having a good day and was happy and he decided then that he could not stop my infusions yet.  Besides, we weren't even done with the radiation that was supposed to help kick start the infusion into working and doing it's thing.  He told me that he wanted me to have about 6 more weeks infusion, which means  3 more  before he calls it off.  Give it a little more time.

 

So I was happy we weren't scrapping the infusions yet. 

 

Friday when I finished my last radiation, I "graduated" from radiation and they gave me a blanket.  I was in tears when the last thing was done on Friday and I could go home.  It was a very exhausting week and I hope the things I did will help my cancer to stop growing and spreading. 

 



Three Years Later!!! Here is where I am in life.

 

Another infusion day at Huntsman.  Wearing my "Hope" key and chain that Shane gave me to wear on infusion day.

 

This puzzle is on the wall as you are going into the infusion room.  I have never seen this big of a puzzle before. The pieces are so small and they all look alike!!!  I love puzzles but I can't imagine trying to do this puzzle!!!! I would love to know how many pieces are in this puzzle.

Well, another infusion day over.  This was an interesting day.  The big thing I needed to do today was talk to my doctor about my pain.  Norco/Lortab and Percocet is not cutting it and I feel awful all the time since the emergency room on Sunday.  When I am in pain, I don't feel like myself and don't feel like doing anything.  I feel like a shell of who I should be.  The tears started spilling out when he asked me how I was doing.  We had a good discussion about what to do with my pain.  I have now been on my new pain plan for a day and I am so excited about it. It is like comparing black and white.  He told me again how I don't look sick and how hopeful he is for my infusion to work for me. 

I went into radiology to get my mapping/molds made of my body for round three of radiation with my cancer. (First radiation here at Huntsman).   I got a new tattoo for the radiation which brings the total to 6 now.  They are on my abdomen.  Just dots is all.  But noticeable. 

After the mapping, the nurse talked to me about the radiation and how extremely lethargic I will be for several weeks and especially how nauseated I will be.  I guess the nausea will get worse a month after radiation.  I will have three days of radiation.  Every other day.  Also, in between radiation days, I will have another infusion. That week will be a week I am not excited about in the least.  I am going to need extra will power and strength.  I feel weak in that area right now.  I have awesome friends and family who have already come forward and offered to take me back and forth to Huntsman that week, since Kim will have to work.  It's an hour away which takes up someone's whole day for me.  Thank you to all who have taken me so far.  I have deeply appreciated it.  I am sure it won't be the last time I will have to ask someone to take me.

I am so happy about being at Huntsman.  I wish I could have gotten there 2 years before.

Oh, and guess what?  Three years ago, on Mother's Day is when I found out something was really wrong with me.  I got horribly sick, and went to the doctor the next day.  The day after that I was told I had cancer.  Then that first oncologist is the one we disliked so much.  He was awful.  I remember that he told me I had just a few months to a year to live.  Now it has been 3 years!!!!  I am so glad you were wrong!!!

I need to get out of the doldrums.

Ok.  I need an attitude adjustment.  I feel so low and down.  I can't get past going to the ER Sunday after I had had such a much needed and relaxing vacation.  Then barely 12 hours later I am back in the ER telling me I need my gall bladder out.  My Huntsman nurse called me today and said that he thinks that I don't need my gall bladder out and that it is my cancer causing my pain. I can't take in deep breaths or hiccup or anything but normal breathing or my pain shoots through the roof. Today I seem to be feeling a bit better but Norco around the clock is not sufficient. I need something stronger.  The ER giving me the strong stuff in an IV makes me feel like "ahhhh, thank you".  But that isn't in pill form.  Percocet and Norco just don't cut it.  And with this worry about gall bladder, I have been a mess and not a very happy person. Tonight I felt better than I have since Sunday.  I just need my attitude to brighten up.  I feel sad and gloomy and frankly feel like giving up.  But I won't.  I am not a quitter so I need to perk up.  Sorry this is a lousy post, but it is how I am feeling.

I have my next infusion in two days and have an appointment with the radiation doctor to plan the radiation days in two weeks.  I would like a penny for every tear I have shed as of late.  I could take a bath in them there are so many.

If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay.......
Quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away.
No one likes a frowny face, change it for a smile......
Make the world a better place by smiling all the while.

Vacation

Kim and I have been gone on vacation for 9 days.  We needed time to just relax and be away from our stresses..  We needed to go and have fun and not think about the "C" word....... and boy did we have fun.

 I got a wheelchair in the Salt Lake, Vegas and LAX airports which saved my bacon.  It was a long walk through those airports.  We also rented a wheelchair at both Disney days which also was the best thing for my situation.  Kim was my Knight in Shining Armor pushing me all over Disneyland up and down ramps.  It seemed like so many up ramps.  He was awesome. 

We got home Saturday night, and early Sunday morning I got that same pain it seemed, when I had pneumonia.  We went to the ER and they think it is the gall bladder and I am supposed to call my oncologist at Huntsman and go through him for whatever we do.  I felt so low at the ER yesterday when I was told that I would probably need my gall bladder out.  I just felt like that I couldn't take that on also.  Kim gave me a blessing last night to give me the strength mentally, emotionally and physically to be able to go through whatever I will need to.  I don't know anything about gall bladder surgery.  How long you are in the hospital or anything about it.  I guess I need to try and find out.

THE VACATION WAS GOOD!  VEGAS, ANAHEIM AND OCEANSIDE!  WONDERFUL!!