Great CT scan news! Yay Nexavar!

Skippety do da. Skippety-ay. Happy New Year to me. My CT scan showed the enlarged tumors from two months ago,  back to their original size.  Nothing has gotten worse, larger, or spread.  Dr. Klein had a huge grin! She was pretty happy!

I finally today, feel like I have broken away from the evil spell that Oncologist #1 put over me, of thinking my time is limited to 12 months left on this earth. There is no way!  I am not any worse today than I was in May.  I finally feel free from his spell he has cast over me for the past 7 months. I don't feel burdened down with his sentence I was given any more.  He was wrong, and that's that! I am so happy today.

So all of you reading this. I am still kicking and screaming and am not giving up! 2014 is going to be my year!

Yay Nexavar!!! You are doing something good!

Dr. Qader. I will miss you.

I just received word this Sunday evening that my family doctor, Dr. Qader, died of a heart attack last night.  I think I am still in shock!!! He has tried to preserve my life multiple times in helping me with my blood pressure, cholesterol, and all the things you go to a doctor for.  And most recently, he had me have a CT scan in May, to see why I was so sick, and he called Kim and I in his office to personally tell us that I had cancer.  He didn't want to do it over the phone.

I first met Dr. Qader when I had a stroke, 7 years ago.  He was my doctor in the hospital. Our insurance changed and so we couldn't go to our regular family doctor.  I was so impressed with Dr. Qader in the hospital and his exquisite care he gave me, that I wanted him to be our new family doctor.  He has been like a friend to Kim and I. He would even read this blog. He has been so supportive to me through all this cancer stuff, and most recently worked so hard to get my blood pressure regulated.  What a wonderful person.  Doctors aren't supposed to die on us!  They are supposed to keep us alive and healthy until they retire.  He was much younger than Kim and I.  It shouldn't have been his time to go. I am so so saddened. A very smart, caring, and kind man has passed on.

On Friday, when I left getting my CT scan, and I was passing Dr. Qaders office, I had this feeling I needed to stop in and wish them all happy holidays, and I didn't do it!  It was one day before he was gone.  Why did I not listen to that small voice that told me to go say hello. It would have been my personal goodbye.

Post Christmas Thoughts

Looking back at some of the Christmas parties, and activities I have had, it has been sobering.  This is a picture of my Thatcher Family Christmas Party at our home.  I love being with them.  I wonder if I will ever have them at my home again.  Was it the last time?  I would hope not.  But if it is, I want them to know how much fun I had having them here.  I love my brothers and sister and their families.  I wish Gordon and his family had lived closer to come also.

As I think of putting away my Christmas decorations, I want to put the most important things that I want Kim to bring out next year on top.  He can pick the things that he likes the most to have out for the family.  It is so sobering to think along the lines of not being here next year with them all.  But I am at peace within myself if it doesn't happen even though it makes me sad, and I don't want to believe that it may be so.  It has been a great holiday that I have loved every minute of:
"The ward Christmas party, my office party dinner, our office pot luck, Christmas Eve with my kids and their families, Christmas carolers, Christmas lights on temple square, doing the nativity,Christmas day with my husband and son, Christmas cards from so many.   Goodies and treats from so many neighbors."  It is all what Christmas is in my world.  Especially knowing why we celebrate the season.

I am planning on being here for a very long time, but I have to be realistic that there is a chance I may not experience Christmas with my family and friends again.  Therefore, I leave these feeling I have on this blog today.

On another note, I got a CT scan again yesterday.  Gotta love drinking barium!!!  YUM.  I will find out all about the scan on Tuesday afternoon as I visit with my Doctor.  By the way, she is a wonderful oncologist and her name is Dr. Regina Klein. I highly recommend her if any of you are ever in my shoes.

Ice Cream and my Christmas Necklace

Today is the day after Christmas.  Let me tell you about my Christmas.

First of all, food doesn't taste all that good for the most part, much of the time, and it hurts my tongue.  A food that sounds good this morning, may sound awful in 2 hours and sound awful for days.  It's crazy.  But something I crave ALL THE TIME NOW IS ICE CREAM!! It never ceases to amaze me how much I want ice cream!!  I have to keep buying some to stay in my freezer.  Or order a shake at Wendy's.  I have no idea why that always sounds good, when most everything else is always so iffy.  I know....I am nuts....(over ice cream, that is).

Yesterday was Christmas, and how sweet it was.  I had my family all around me on Christmas Eve, and we had such a wonderful time. Kim and I had made ceramic plates for each family member with their name and a picture that reminded us of them on it. Each couple had their wedding date and name. We spent several hours and multiple trips to the ceramic store to make them all, and watching them all open their plates on Christmas Eve, made me very emotional to watch their excited faces and hear them all chattering to each other about them.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I saw their happy faces. It was so worth the effort of our "not-so-professional" plates. They didn't seem to care.

Christmas morning, we had our son Shane here from Henderson, NV and the three of us enjoyed watching each other open our gifts.  In the toe of my stocking, from my 'Knight In Shining Armor', was a small box. Inside was two necklaces, with a half heart on each that fit together and made a beautiful whole heart.  On each half heart said, BFF. (Best Friends Forever).As I looked at them, I was curious about who was going to wear the other half, as I was certain half was for me.  He announced proudly that even though he has never been a jewelry wearer, or rings, or a watch or anything of the sort, he would be wearing the other half of that necklace always, because I was his Best Friend. Oh my gosh.......the flood gates erupted in my eyes as I had just heard my husband tell me that he was going to wear a necklace to remind him of me always!  That is soooooooo out of character for my ruff tuff husband. He came over and tenderly put mine around my neck and handed me his to clasp around his neck.  It really isn't noticeable that much which I am glad about for his sake.  What a tender time that I shall never forget.....ever! That was the sweetest thing and I shall never forget it.

Merry Christmas to all who reads this blog.  Thank you for checking in to see what is going on in my "mostly uneventful" life.

I have not put anything on my blog for quite awhile.  I have been so busy with Christmas that I literally haven't had time.  I get pretty tired in the evenings and I go to bed when Kim does, which is 8:30, since he has to get up at 3:15 in the morning.  I do have a couple of pictures I want to put on.  I will try to tomorrow.

I do have another CT scan that I am getting on the 27th of December.  That will tell us what the cancer is doing. I cross my fingers.

Kim and I had a special moment a few days ago.  I don't really know how to explain it.  And I can't do it justice on paper. 

We were sitting at the table opening some Christmas cards we had received in the mail that day.  I looked on the wall where I tape them up after reading them.  As I stared at the cards on the wall, I got really emotional wondering if this was my last Christmas.  No words were spoken between us and I looked at Kim and tears were freely rolling down his cheeks also.  I had no idea he was having his own thoughts and emotions.  We looked at each other with tears streaming down our cheeks, not knowing what the other was thinking.  We then embraced each other and had a moment to connect emotionally. It was tender. 

I still don't know his thoughts during that moment, and he doesn't know mine, but I feel we were in sinc for those few minutes as we thought about our future.

My Gingerbread House this year!

My kids and their families decorate gingerbread houses every year.  This is mine.  I just put all of them on facebook under Terry Lynn Warner, if you want to go on and see them all.  They are fun.

10,000 Views! Wow! Thanksgiving. ER

This week of thanksgiving has been one one the best weeks but for my health, one of the worst weeks.  I have had so many complications from my Nexavar this week.  One thing happens, and then that causes something else to happen and I am going around in circles.  I went to the emergency room Friday, and they really didn't know much how to help me much .  Very frustrating.  The good part of the week is what I want to focus on.  Having all my kids and their families here for thanksgiving. Then Saturday, watching my grandson be baptized.  Sunday, my granddaughter was blessed, and we also celebrated my little adopted grandsons first birthday.  So lots of things that have made this an awesome and memorable week.

This blog just hit over 10,000 views!  I can't believe it! Thank you! I just wish I knew who you all were so I could thank you personally for your concern.

We just put our Christmas tree up tonight, and I am so geared up for Christmas.  I love the holidays.

Kim.  Thank you for your love and patience for me.