Thanksgiving and decorating the tree.

Kim put up the Christmas tree tonight, and I was too nauseous to help for awhile. I finally took some med. so I would feel like helping decorate. (Kim doesn't decorate the tree) .

I am still struggling with my health, but I think I am feeling a little better than I was.  Thanksgiving was very tiring for me, so after dinner I had to go lie down for awhile.  After a half hour, I was able to spend time with the family and be just fine.  Most days I need two times to go lie down and rest.  Mostly I can't sleep but the rest is what I need.  Radiation really zaps your strength and stamina.

I can't wait until this is WAY behind me.  It's a lousy memory so far.

Just throw me over a cliff.

Whining or not, I have not had a good week since surgery.  My stomach is either feeling nausea/sick or I am bloated and it hurts like heck, or constipation,or I have acid reflux to the point of no return.  (If any of you have reflux, you know how painful it is especially when it is out of control and has burned your esophagus all the way down to your stomach and you want to scream.) Then the right leg and liver hurt and ache from the catheter.  It has been a pretty unpleasant week.  I called first thing Monday morning to talk to my doctor about the reflux and I am now on a lot of med. for it.  I don't like all the prescriptions I am taking after this surgery, but the med. for nausea is saving me from sickness and hallelujah for pain meds.  I just am going in a circle from one thing to the next all day long, and not sleeping well makes it all worse. And to think that I have to do this all again?  Just throw me over a cliff before that day.

stop whining TL!

I don't mean to be a whiner 49er, but this surgery is kickin' my trash!!!!! I am not bouncing back like I did in the first one two weeks ago.  But I have to keep telling myself, I was filled with toxic material this time and my body is reacting to getting it out.  I just want it to hurry and let me be.  I want to feel like a normal person again and have energy and feel like getting dressed!  I don't want to be nauseous and feel sick and be in pain .  And I want to be able to sleep good!!! Ahhhhh. I need a good nights rest.  The rest I DIDNT GET AND THOUGHT I WOULD DURING SURGERY!!!  Today I have felt quite down, except for the sweet card I got in the mail and a package of Hugs I got from a neighbor, and a wonderful meal tonight from a dear friend.  Silly pictures from my sons family to make me laugh, and phone calls and texts.  Each was a booster shot for me of love and helped my spirits rise back up.  I have to keep reminding myself, " I Can Do Hard Things".

Second surgery over. I radiate!!! One more to go.

Today is the day after my surgery.  The doctor said it went well.. I hope so.  For the two hours in surgery, I again was kept groggy awake on purpose so I could hold my breath and blow it out when they told me to.  I was not too happy about this.  I was awake last time they inserted the catheter and hated feeling everything and hearing everything.  I really thought I wouldn't have to do it again.  This time was worse.  The nurse could tell when I couldn't stand the pain any more and asked to give me more pain med which I was thankful for.  I got nauseous after surgery for a bit.  I feel like a mag truck ran over me today, the day after.  I go see this doctor a few days before Christmas and have the (hopefully) final surgery December 30.  That's not positive but hopeful.

It has been hard to remember to stay three feet away from Kim because of the radiation.  He keeps forgetting too I think.  He sleeps in the guest room for a few days.  The hospital just called and said today probably would be my worst day and I hope so.

Everybody has been so kind.  Meals, cuddly blankets, phone calls.  It has made me feel good.  Thank you.

November 17th. Toxic day.

November 17th at 6:00 am.  I have my next date.  On this surgery we will blast the tumors with radioactive beads.  Then I will be toxic for 4 days.  I get to ride home in the back seat of the car while Kim drives.  I am going to hate not having companionship with Kim or anyone for fours days.  But I can sure talk on the phone!   Well, Kim doesn't have to " call" me, but he can talk to me across the room.  This doesn't sound fun at all.  It already sounds like I will be sent to the dungeon.  Ahhhh!

First Surgery Down at St. Marks Two more to go.

(Groggy pictures after surgery)

 

What a day. I have so much to tell about it.

 

First and foremost, the surgery mapping was a success.  They didn't have to cut off any blood supply to my liver, which we were told just before the surgery that they may have to do. The two doctors will ponder on the mapping for a couple of days to determine what will happen for the surgery.

 

Today, they went in my groin with a catheter, (which I didn't know would happen on this procedure also).  I was groggy through the whole operation so I could follow commands of: " Take a deep breath.  Let it out and hold your breath and hold very still".  I followed that command about 20 or so times for the next two hours.  In the catheter, they put dye through my veins finding the veins that went into my liver, and not out of my liver.  After the procedure, I had to lie in my bed for 3 hours holding my right leg very straight and not bend it.   I was very glad to get home.  But hearing about my next surgeries...........yes.....more than one more......won't be a walk in the park.

 

My next surgery will be in two weeks.  Not sure which day yet.  They have to order the radiation beads from Australia!  (Seriously?) The radiation beads will be precisely entering into 2 of my tumors in the liver, through the groin in a catheter just like today.   (I guess there are four tumors.  Not 3.) Here is the killer:

 

When I get home.  I have to stay 3 feet away from people for 4 days. Kim and I can't even sleep in the same bed.   I guess I will be lit up like a Christmas tree!!  LOLOLOL  I wont have to put a star on the top of my tree.  Just put me on it!!!! LOLOLOL

 

All silliness aside, the nurse told me as she was wheeling me to the car, that I will need someone with me for 3 days!!! I have no idea why.  And she said, "Give your grand kids loves and kisses before you come to the hospital, because you can't for a few days after."

 

Then a month later, they will do the same procedure again to the other two tumors in the liver.  This doctor was very knowledgeable. He is the only one in the state that used to do this surgery.  Now he has a partner, which I had today.  He came from Huntsman originally, and now is in private practice.

 

So, that is my day.  I haven't needed any pain meds, which I am happy about.  I have to not drive or lift things and take it easy for a few days. 

 

Whew!  One down.  Two to go!

 

Read the post below this.  This is what happened to me on the way to the hospital.   

Thank you mom for being with me! I am glad you remembered that Primary Song.

I know a name.
A glorious name.
Dearer than any other
Listen I'll whisper the name to you.
It is the name of mother

Mother so gentle and kind and true
I love you.
I love you.
Mother so gentle and kind and true.
I ---- Love ---- You!

This morning we had to get up at 5:30 to be to my surgery at St. Marks Hospital in Salt Lake by 7:00.  All morning this song above kept going through my mind---- over and over and over.  I ignored it until finally I took the time to  recall the words and wondered why did this song come into my mind  so early in the morning? We only sing this song on Mother's Day. 

 On the way to the hospital, I figured it out.  My mom planted that song in my mind. I know it!  It was her way to let me know that she was with me today.  I am sure of it.  It brought some tender tears realizing the creative way she let me know she was following me today.  Thanks Mom!